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Mind Your Tongue! James 3:1-12

This entry was posted on 4/19/2007 4:19 PM and is filed under Sermon Feedback.

Hi Wintonbury Family...Andre here, not Rich!

When I was 12, my father told me that I couldn't sing. It was devastating to me because my father was such a great singer and I looked up to him. My dad had no idea how much this one little comment affected me...and still does whenever I start going off tune on Sundays!
The bottomline? Words are powerful. Would you be willing to share about something that was said to you, either negatively or positively, that had a profound impact on you? And remember...no matter what anyone says, our Abba God tells us that we are precious and honored in His sight...believe it!

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4/19/2007 4:26 PM Cathie Barra wrote:
Ouch! I'm the one who really needs to MIND MY TONGUE! God help me.
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4/23/2007 12:40 AM ruth h. wrote:
I wondered if this sermon had its genesis in something personal. Having a parent tell you you're no good at the thing you love doing most ... that answers that question. (ouch)

Sometimes it's not just the words, but the timing. Even being called by your own name can hurt. I've always been told I'm no good at anything requiring coordination. No one ever called me clumsy out loud, but I was always picked last for any grade school gym class team. Sometimes a teacher would count us off my numbers, but otherwise I was always tail end Charlie. I still remember vividly the one time I was called second to last. I and the other non-coordinated types got used to that treatment, but hearing your name called reluctantly and begrudgingly week after week never really stopped hurting. I always wondered how I got high marks in gym class; it turned out that gym was the only class in school where how hard you tried counted for more than how well you did.
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4/24/2007 1:08 PM Brenda W. wrote:
You've got to be kidding me Andre! You have a fantastic voice! I hope you realize that by now.

It's amazing how parents seems to utter the most hurtful and damaging words. You want to believe they wanted the best for us but you have to wonder sometimes.

I remember growing up that my parents used to say to my older sister (who was "chunky") "oh you'd be so pretty if you could lose some weight". Then, as I grew older and packed on the pounds for various reasons, I heard the same thing from my Mother. That on top of the usual you're never going to be any good types of comments really hurt.

But, you CAN overcome those comments. Just look at the people who said them and their faults. Then look up to heaven and see that the "parent" who matters most is faultless and loves us UNCONDITIONALLY.
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4/24/2007 4:15 PM Lizajayne wrote:
What impacted me most as a child were the things that were never said. I had nobody to tell me that I was wanted or safe or that everything would be okay. And while noone ever told me directly, "You ruined my life," I got the message loud and clear.

One of the most hurtful things anyone ever said to me was spoken by a teacher. I was the daughter of a teenage mom and while I was a well-behaved child, my best friend Amy's parents feared our lifestyle. When I was 10 my art teacher, who was a friend of Amy's parents, told Amy, in front of me and my classmates, that she shouldn't hang around with me because I was no good. I remember the embarrasment like it was yesterday. "No Good." I was an excellent student. I was nice. I was never in trouble. "No Good." In that moment, he confirmed my suspicions: I was bad from the inside out. No amount of good behavior would change that. Then I realized that if he could see my "badness", everyone else could too.

Three years later I saw him again and apparently I had improved in appearance. He told me, in a sideways compliment, that I was like the ugly duckling that had turned into a swan. I was insulted and irritated but I noticed that he was suddenly much nicer to me. From that point on I counted heavily on my looks to get by. I used my outer beauty to cover up the ugly duckling that still lived inside. However, I lived in fear of the day someone would realize I was "No Good."

I am sure we have all uttered careless statements that we never expected to do such harm. But words matter and the enemy lies in wait, ready to fan each spark into flames with his wicked whispers. I am reminded of how careful I need to be.
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4/24/2007 7:32 PM Claudette wrote:
Growing up in a family where no love was shown and being alcholics. We were told that we were stupid. I did some pretty dumb stuff. Getting mixed up with the wrong crowd, looking for love in all the wrong places. The booze that should have consoled me, just made me feel worse. I just didn't know where to turn. The day my father called me a whore, was the last straw. I moved out of the house with a friend and tried to stay away from them. But my mother called me said she needed me to be there and of course I went. I loved my parents, but like I said it was not there. They have since passed away some 25 years ago and until your sermon Andre, I never let go of that hurt. I felt like I was cleansed that day. Thank you for all you do!
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4/24/2007 11:00 PM jen b. wrote:
just wondering...is it really the words or the person that causes the hurt? I think it must be both. I've gathered that parents, spouses and children can hurt us the most. Words said by a stranger or "unsignificant other" seem to have far less impact because they really don't know us. There isn't the emotional attachment there. All the more reason to be esp. careful with those we love. Lord, open my eyes (and ears!) to my own hurtful words. I'm afaid I may be unaware of them...
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4/25/2007 8:07 PM PattyH wrote:
Not only can hurtful words damage hearts and wound lives, sometimes lack of words can do the same. Isn't it amazing though, how one conversation with damaging words lives forever in our memories, but Jesus can remove the sting we felt when we heard them. Thank you Lord!
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5/1/2007 2:21 PM Janine wrote:
It is unfortunate that words spoken or unspoken, love expressed or withheld, can inflict so much damage and color our perceptions about the world and ourselves far into adulthood. The grace in all of it is that people who have been afflicted or wounded deeply by significant people in their lives can come to know God as the healer in as deep and as personal a way. Because I have experienced this and continue to, it gives me a lot of hope.
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5/27/2007 10:09 PM Anonymous wrote:
the most important thing I got out of that particular sermon and follow up was the reminder that failing to forgive others' words will hurt me and bind me, not them. I was prompted to deal with words an administrator said when he asked me to leave my school. They were very hurtful to me but my unforgiveness was seeping into my words to other people in entirely unrelated conversations. While I wasn't able to forgive just then in the service I asked God to help me want to forgive and to see the person in a new light. God answers! I have experienced release and freedom as he has changed my heart; while I know I was very hurt, I do not feel the sting of those words when I remember them, or the hate I felt walking by the person in the hall.
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